One of the best locations I get to be amazed by people is at my hotel. We get some of the most amazing guests who could not possibly be any nicer! And then we get the cranky guests who rely on the customer service industry to cushion their egos and wait on their hand and foot. But above all, the best part of working in a hotel is the stories we get from the crazies who travel. So starts the "Hotel Diaries"... the compilation of hilariousness that ensues when honeymooners, sports players, foreigners, and the business class of the world all rotate through the hotel doors. So I will naturally continue to have stories, and I'll keep the page updated, but I will share a few gems to start out the fun.
November 20, 2011
This installment of the Hotel Diaries literally just happened to me. When you answer the phones for a hotel, you are bound to get some interesting callers. Any phone job, for that matter, knows what this is about. People who think they are funny, people who are drunk dialing, there are all kinds of crazy people out there who have access to a phone. The worst call I have ever received was one night I was in the office by myself and a man called to get our address. This is totally normal, so when he asked if I could wait while he got a pen and paper I was not in the least bit worried or weirded out. I was not ready for what happened next... I hear noise in the background and it sounds a little strange... It started to get louder and clearer but I still couldn't figure out what I was listening to. And then I realized: he was holding the phone up to a TV with a really perverted porn playing into my scared little ears. I hung up as quickly as my brain could process what was going on, and then promptly told my boss that I had just purposefully hung up on someone. After explaining myself, the boss wasn't mad at me for doing so, he just found it a little humorous. At the time I was too grossed out, but now, as you can see, it makes for a kinda funny story.
That was the worst call. But now for the best call, which just barely happened. I'm still grinning because of how ridiculous and stoned this person probably was. Today the hotel is slow enough that I am in the office by myself, forced to entertain myself with the wonders of the internet and coloring books. The phone rings and I answer with my very friendly hotel greeting, and I hear: "Hiiiii, how are you todaaaayyy??" (switching to dialogue mode)
Me: I'm pretty good... how about you?
Them: I'm soooo great girlfriend... How's your spirit doing todaayyy?
Me: Oh ya know... pretty good. (At this point I'm thinking This has to be someone I know calling to prank me. But it sounds kinda like Nick Swardson...)
Them: I was calling to check on your spirit and to compliment your smile. Is your smile stretching across your faaaace?
Me: Yeah, I'd say so. (I mean how could I not be smiling when I've got this uber-friendly uber-gay man complimenting my smile over the phone?)
Them: Don't you just loooove it when your smile stretches across your face, and just starts to float right off of your faaaace, like a feather instead of a weight? Is your smile floating off of your faaace?
Me: Yep, it is. (Now I'm trying really hard to figure out who this is, I have no idea what they have been smoking, but I bet it's really high quality. I would be more inclined to get him off the phone, but let's be honest, no one was calling.) Where are you calling from?
Them: Ooooh I don't know, where do you thiiiinkk?
Me: Um... It sounds kind of like you're watching football.
Them: Foooootbaaaalll.... No, that's just the raaaadiooo... What are you dooooingg??
Me: Um, working.
Them: Has your smile lifted off your face yet? I just want to check on your happinesssss...
Me: Yeah, I'm pretty good. What is your name?
Them: Ohhh, my name is Kimberly... Are you keeping up your smile with sophistication? Is your smile spreaadd across your whole face, or are you only like 50%??
Me: Oh... I dunno. (What do you say to that!? This went on for over five minutes! He wanted to "compliment my smile" and "shine a light on my spirit..." But finally, I figured I should try to get him off the phone so I could, ya know, do my job.) Ok, I should probably get back to work...
Kimberly: Okaayyy, I'm glad your spirit is doing well, I just wanted to compliment your smile. I can feel it stretching through the phone. I think your smile is sooooo great...
Me: Well then, I think my job here is done. (Because, in customer service, isn't the point to have your smile stretch through the phone? :))
My friend Kimberly continued to "compliment my smile" for another minute before finally letting me off the phone. The whole conversation being about six or seven minutes long. I mean, some weird stranger had just called me to talk about my smile, what better things could I be doing? Coloring? Nope, I'm pretty sure that was the greatest call I will ever get. And while some people may be super uncomfortable or annoyed that someone (most likely on drugs) was just wasting their time; not me! Nope, I just sat there and enjoyed it. And I know it may have been a random stranger who could potentially turn into a psycho-stalker, but I decided to roll with it and I was showered with compliments. It really made my day. And now I have another fantastic hotel story.
November 20, 2011
This installment of the Hotel Diaries literally just happened to me. When you answer the phones for a hotel, you are bound to get some interesting callers. Any phone job, for that matter, knows what this is about. People who think they are funny, people who are drunk dialing, there are all kinds of crazy people out there who have access to a phone. The worst call I have ever received was one night I was in the office by myself and a man called to get our address. This is totally normal, so when he asked if I could wait while he got a pen and paper I was not in the least bit worried or weirded out. I was not ready for what happened next... I hear noise in the background and it sounds a little strange... It started to get louder and clearer but I still couldn't figure out what I was listening to. And then I realized: he was holding the phone up to a TV with a really perverted porn playing into my scared little ears. I hung up as quickly as my brain could process what was going on, and then promptly told my boss that I had just purposefully hung up on someone. After explaining myself, the boss wasn't mad at me for doing so, he just found it a little humorous. At the time I was too grossed out, but now, as you can see, it makes for a kinda funny story.
That was the worst call. But now for the best call, which just barely happened. I'm still grinning because of how ridiculous and stoned this person probably was. Today the hotel is slow enough that I am in the office by myself, forced to entertain myself with the wonders of the internet and coloring books. The phone rings and I answer with my very friendly hotel greeting, and I hear: "Hiiiii, how are you todaaaayyy??" (switching to dialogue mode)
Me: I'm pretty good... how about you?
Them: I'm soooo great girlfriend... How's your spirit doing todaayyy?
Me: Oh ya know... pretty good. (At this point I'm thinking This has to be someone I know calling to prank me. But it sounds kinda like Nick Swardson...)
Them: I was calling to check on your spirit and to compliment your smile. Is your smile stretching across your faaaace?
Me: Yeah, I'd say so. (I mean how could I not be smiling when I've got this uber-friendly uber-gay man complimenting my smile over the phone?)
Them: Don't you just loooove it when your smile stretches across your face, and just starts to float right off of your faaaace, like a feather instead of a weight? Is your smile floating off of your faaace?
Me: Yep, it is. (Now I'm trying really hard to figure out who this is, I have no idea what they have been smoking, but I bet it's really high quality. I would be more inclined to get him off the phone, but let's be honest, no one was calling.) Where are you calling from?
Them: Ooooh I don't know, where do you thiiiinkk?
Me: Um... It sounds kind of like you're watching football.
Them: Foooootbaaaalll.... No, that's just the raaaadiooo... What are you dooooingg??
Me: Um, working.
Them: Has your smile lifted off your face yet? I just want to check on your happinesssss...
Me: Yeah, I'm pretty good. What is your name?
Them: Ohhh, my name is Kimberly... Are you keeping up your smile with sophistication? Is your smile spreaadd across your whole face, or are you only like 50%??
Me: Oh... I dunno. (What do you say to that!? This went on for over five minutes! He wanted to "compliment my smile" and "shine a light on my spirit..." But finally, I figured I should try to get him off the phone so I could, ya know, do my job.) Ok, I should probably get back to work...
Kimberly: Okaayyy, I'm glad your spirit is doing well, I just wanted to compliment your smile. I can feel it stretching through the phone. I think your smile is sooooo great...
Me: Well then, I think my job here is done. (Because, in customer service, isn't the point to have your smile stretch through the phone? :))
My friend Kimberly continued to "compliment my smile" for another minute before finally letting me off the phone. The whole conversation being about six or seven minutes long. I mean, some weird stranger had just called me to talk about my smile, what better things could I be doing? Coloring? Nope, I'm pretty sure that was the greatest call I will ever get. And while some people may be super uncomfortable or annoyed that someone (most likely on drugs) was just wasting their time; not me! Nope, I just sat there and enjoyed it. And I know it may have been a random stranger who could potentially turn into a psycho-stalker, but I decided to roll with it and I was showered with compliments. It really made my day. And now I have another fantastic hotel story.
November 16, 2011
Several months ago, when I was still fairly fresh in the hotel world, we had a guest check in to his room only to find it not up to his standards. He made some kind of complaint about not getting the suite that “someone” had promised him. This is fairly common, people think we’re much bigger idiots than we actually are, and think that saying “Well I spoke with someone about (xyz) and they said this, this, and that…” To which we reply, “Who was it that you spoke with?” And the funny thing is they can never seem to remember. Or they come up with some generic name, hoping to get lucky that we happen to have a Steve. So this gentleman makes enough of a stink that the front desk decides to upgrade him, just to keep him happy. But he tells them that he will be leaving to go out to dinner, and he will move rooms when he gets back. So a few hours pass and soon we all forgot about our friend. The protocol if a guest leaves a room right after checking in is to have a housekeeper go to check the room, even if the guests haven’t used the bathroom or even touched the bed. After checking the room the housekeeper will then change the status of the room so the front desk will know they can check a new guest into it. On this special day, somewhere in the process, things went wrong. The room was showing as available when an unsuspecting businessman came to check in. The guest gets his room keys and his bags and heads right up, only to be surprised by the friendly sight of another man, jacking off, naked in his hotel bed. This is a true story my friends, and let me just tell you; our unsuspecting businessman was comped in the Presidential Suite for 5 nights because of it. The price for being mortified I suppose.
But let’s just talk about the guy who stayed in the room. Who tells the front desk they will be leaving the room, only to creepily wait for someone to catch them in the act, with themselves!? I mean, the guy had to have known someone would be coming, whether to clean the room, or get checked into the room. I know there is a whole world of voyeurs out there, people who love getting caught in the act. But can’t those people get caught somewhere that doesn’t cost someone else hundreds to thousands of dollars in damages!? These are the lovely people of my hotel. :)
